I am, and have been, lonely. Partially I am having stress that is just making me depressed, but mostly I feel like no one cares about me. I know I have friends, but it's like I'm there when they have needs, but when I need something, they're busy or just don't feel like it.

Little things like calling when they say they will, or keeping a promise, even writing a note that only says "hi" means a lot when it seems no one is paying attention. It's surprising how little that has been going on in my life, but there it is.

I recently got a new job, which I am enjoying very much, and I look forward to working everyday. It's sad that the highlights in my life are when I'm on the clock. Even the guys I work with are more interested in me than my friends. I know everyone is busy, hell, I'm busy, it's just that when you really want something, you make time, and expect me to make time for your stuff too.

I just wish I had some support, someone who would be there for me the way I am for so many people. I've told the people in my life that that's what I need right now, but nothing has changed, and I've by and large gotten so discouraged I'm now greatly tempted to stop trying entirely. I know that part of growing up has to do with changing the kinds of people I surround myself with, but it's hard when I have years of history.

I'm not looking for pity, and I could do without suggestions to just "cheer up", I just wanted to put myself out there in the hope that putting everything in writing might prompt some change, even if it's just in myself and my choices.