carnal-knowledge

Rachel Perey

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To say goodbye by carnal-knowledge, literature

Literature

To say goodbye

Saying goodbye, even when you know it's the right thing to do, is hard. Nobody wants to be the bad guy, and it's usually the most responsible person involved who finally says when it's time to move on. This isn't because that person noticed the problem first, or is bothered the most, or is even the smartest, just that they come to a point where it is more uncomfortable to leave things be than to address them. These people are almost always construed as the bad guy, or worse, practical. I am one of those people. It may seem to other people that I'm unaffected by saying goodbye, but it's just as hard for me to let go as anyone else. The d

Getting in his head by carnal-knowledge, literature

the truth behind violence by carnal-knowledge, literature

Die by carnal-knowledge, literature

I hope I'm asleep by carnal-knowledge, literature

The nature of trust by carnal-knowledge, literature

Literature

The nature of trust

Jealousy is seeing in someone something special something one is/does wishing it were you, instead of them wanting to be great while forcing another to be small Hate is seeing in someone something familiar something one is/does fearing it is you, just a different angle hoping that no one will see what you hide transferring self-loathing onto a bystander Love is seeing in someone something special something one is/does wishing it were you, accepting that it isn't wanting to be closer while cherishing who he/she is Friendship is seeing in someone something familiar

Apprehension by carnal-knowledge, literature

Literature

Apprehension

What's wrong with me I should be happy I know I should But what can I do about what's inside I know I'm a flirt So why is it That it makes me so unhappy When the shoe is on the other foot The people around you make me nervous I stick out when I mean not to I despair of ever being liked Can I hope for acceptance Thinking of you, my stomach turns over Why would anyone want to feel like this If I threw up Would I feel better I hate to think of how I will react When next we meet We've changed Will you notice Either let me be Or never let me alone You are torturing me mercilessly How much more of this can I take

Tails by carnal-knowledge, literature

Literature

Tails

You always think about me how /I feel, what I want whatever I say goes your universe bows to my judgment When you ask how I feel, and all I can say is better now, with you everything else fades away I hide from you what I do to myself when I cannot counter-balance the pain and self-loathing You get me anything I desire, it's mine you say my pain has paid for it, I deserve better Jesus Christ, the world owes me, you say forget that I have my own debt to pay While you don't see the crown of thorns that weighs on me, I still feel it I always try, even when it's hopeless I bang my head aga

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Bottle It by carnal-knowledge, literature

not at you by carnal-knowledge, literature

Literature

not at you

too often i feel lost in the world, if not in myself "it's a normal stage" but i'm not used to being "normal" i know my problems are not new, only to me i feel irrational, angry, frustrated, and most of all, i feel alone i remember why i hated feeling and then i get lost in you too your lips, your eyes, your hands, your voice and i feel love and i remember why i want to feel but we're only children, and you're lost too when I see you with other girls, i get irrational and if they make you smile, i get angry at you when i'm right in front of you, and you wont look at me, i get frustrated at you i'm hurting inside somtimes you bri

I am not some stupid child by carnal-knowledge, literature

Literature

I am not some stupid child

when I speak, it is not to hear my own voice nor to prove my intellectual superiority I seek only to express myself and yet you watch me with an eye to critisize becuase I do not hold you in reverence for your experience I do not see young and old, fat and thin I see weakness and strength, and yes, I judge and I am a threat, because I am myself you see yourself when you look at me and in your self-loathing you tell me how stupid I am the more stupid and pathetic, naive and wrong I for I am not burdened by your life I see reality for its unfettered self I do not fear, I am not timid I protect my hear

they didn't tell you by carnal-knowledge, literature

Ashes by carnal-knowledge, literature

Literature

Ashes

the fire that was inside me has finally consumed it's host all I am is char, an empty shell void of self my eyes that once held such spark now only contain despair limpid pools of misery that swallow all that look within my mind has gone dark all the bright thought that whirred around have been stilled all thoughts turn as one and scream "why?!?" my tongue has gone bland bespeaking niceties of everyday life to hide the lack of me the sharp side shown to turn others away my heart is gone completely what body can survive the absense of its feeling heart you have taken it with you I can do nothing else so I await your return to b

When you are alone by carnal-knowledge, literature

Literature

When you are alone

What do you do when friends walk away when everything goes wrong when love has gone to choose between a rock and a hard place is like choosing a method of death unappetizing, and if you wait long enough the choice is taken from you inspiration and talent only take you so far it is desire, drive, that completes the journey so while the body can live on there is no point without passion if life has left you feeling betrayed when giving up is commonplace find another reason to keep going because at the end of the day you are the only one you have written 3:04 am January 8, 2005

Powerless by carnal-knowledge, literature

Literature

Powerless

at times I know not how to react torn by conflict, it is a simpler thing to blend mimic the movements of those surrounding until I need to argue, just to show I am separate judged by the harshest of standards I can only fall short until I weary of the effort and am coerced into another futile try I want to let the masks fall away I want no longer to be seen as other but I fear that doing so will only exacerbate the obvious that I am other regardless, and they see it anyway why must I be thus for while it matter less to some it is plain to all that I am different fundamentally and irrevocably it is painful to want aught for I

My mind speaketh by carnal-knowledge, literature

Literature

My mind speaketh

there are things that dwell within light and dark both that shy away from expression for fear of driving away those most dear what was once open and clear-eyed has been, by violence, trained into other the convolutions of my thought protect from harm the precious fragments of softness remaining yet through no fault of mine own my harsh exterior is taken to be true essence I am a secret, even from myself I, ere now, darent show through but no longer can I stand by and watch yet another opportunity pass keep silent I no longer shall even as all I hold dear be at stake I must speak why must I take at face value what is obviously

Now what? by carnal-knowledge, literature

Heads by carnal-knowledge, literature

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Deviation Spotlight

Ashes by carnal-knowledge, literature

Literature

Ashes

carnal-knowledge

About carnal-knowledge

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Artist // Literature

United States
Deviant for 20 years
www.myspace.com/wersa666
She / Her

Badges

My Bio

Current Residence: somewhere in my head
Favourite genre of music: death metal
Wallpaper of choice: Blood
Skin of choice: Sensative
Favourite cartoon character: Felix the Cat
Personal Quote: "You do what you are"

Favourite Visual Artist

Escher

Favourite Movies

Donnie Darko

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Mushroomhead

Favourite Games

love

Favourite Gaming Platform

PS2

Tools of the Trade

Head, paper and utensil/computer

Other Interests

books, writting, drawing, music

Posts

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carnal-knowledge

Oct 15, 2006

Ronery

0 min read

I am, and have been, lonely.  Partially I am having stress that is just making me depressed, but mostly I feel like no one cares about me.  I know I have friends, but it's like I'm there when they have needs, but when I need something, they're busy or just don't feel like it. Little things like calling when they say they will, or keeping a promise, even writing a note that only says "hi" means a lot when it seems no one is paying attention.  It's surprising how little that has been going on in my life, but there it is. I recently got a new job, which I am enjoying very much, and I look forward to working everyday.  It's sad that the highlig

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carnal-knowledge

Apr 19, 2006

Meow goes byebye

0 min read

Michael left yesterday and I miss him :cry: But now I get to plan my next trip out, so I guess I have to pull it together.  I lurv you meow.

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carnal-knowledge

Mar 29, 2006

Working on it

0 min read

I'm still working on my happy poem, sorry it's taking so long, other things have come up... see my new poem Die for more on my emotional temperature.

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Profile Comments 92

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NontoxicPenguin

Nov 2, 2006

I am sorry about today, I will start keeping track of these things better.

AngelofDeathEnvy

Oct 31, 2006

Here. I copied this from Moon rabbit!

Today Is Bestfriend Day.
Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1.
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!

1-3 you're a bad friend
4-6 you're an ok friend
7-9 you're a good friend
10-& Up you're a great friend

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Send this rose to everyone you care about!!

AngelofDeathEnvy

Oct 12, 2006

Thanks for the watch!!! Now you are being watched too!

Thanks! Sure!

Thanks, I appreciate your comments so far, feel free to comment on my older stuff if you like.

ShinitenshiEnvy

Sep 4, 2006

Thanks for the Fav and Watch!
I'm watching you too!

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Do I look crazy Chibi - san? I'm just envious. But I prefer to be psychotic.

carnal-knowledge

Oct 17, 2006

Why do you keep getting banned?